Oh shit, wait a second.

Saturday was our first test on medical terminology and the functions of different glands and layers of your skin. It covered so much information that I've never even heard before, let alone know how to pronounce using my own tongue. 6 out of 10 barbers passed the test. I got a C.  78%.

Being homeschooled, our curriculum expected high results. I could not even continue on with the next schoolbook in a certain topic unless I got a bare minimum of 80%, but my mom always pushed for me to be in the 90's. The expectation for honor's is every test has to be passed with a minimum of 90%. I know that the more I study further chapters, the more older knowledge becomes relevant, which will help me as i go back to retest, but I can't get over one fact.

I got a fucking C. 

So yesterday was a bad day. After dwelling on my poor score all weekend, I started the next chapter. And it's even more terminlogy and functionality with the same language that is abolutely foreign to me. I went to cut the head of a mannequin and understand pompadores and how they are cut. It quickly became what I have affectionately coined as the "pompous mullet" because I stood there after going up one side, and I felt like I completely forgot everything I had learned from the prior month I had been there.

So I made it home, but on my drive all I could think of was "You made an expensive mistake." Verge of breakdown here.  I told Hailie how overwhelmed I was, and she had me look back at the situation as a whole.

Where was I a month ago, and in comparison where am I at today? What is my knowledge of today in comparison to a month ago. If I'm getting a C, then I'm picking up information and I can continue to pick up more information later, but at least it's not the F I would have gotten without actually knowing any portion of the industry. After I had my freak out, I studied and I felt better. This is not an overnight journey. This is going to be tough, and at times I am going to question myself. But if I don't have this, the carrot at the end of the stick seems worthless. I'm putting myself through all the fear and anxiety intentionally so I can enjoy the peace and serenity it offers later. 

Back to studying.